Thandies house is not too far from me and is very welcoming. It is surrounded by rose bushes, their perfume staining the air as you enter the gates. They have dogs too and they are very vicious but if they know you, they do not attack. I swing past Tyrone the lazy dog who simply givesme a sniff and allows me swift access.
Thandie is an only child and very priviliged. She has an awesome bedroom, bacon every morning with eggs and her mother does not shop at the market like mine. It is always from Shoprite. I like being here because we can play a lot of games without any interference from adults.
'Shey!! How are you dear?' Thandies mother greets me. 'Come and give aunty a hug' she says with outstrecthed arms and a big smile. I feel great running to her. Finally I feel safe even if it is for onenight. Tomorrow will be another story but maybe I can convince her to let me stay here and not go to the stupid camp.
'How is your mother doing?'
'She is fine thanks. I was wondering if it is OK for me to stay here tonight?
'Sure, you know you are always welcome'
'Thank you ma'
'Thandie! Come here and greet your friend'Thandie comes out in her pyjamas and fluffy bathrobe. She has cute pink bedroom slippers on as well. I am green with envy.
'Hi Shey. Quick you have to come and watch Shera some. You are already missing out'
'Aunty, Mama said I should give you these fritters'I take out the fritters that Mama gave me and aunty is thrilled to have them.
'Shey, are you OK? Why are you walking like a penguin?'
'I am not' I try to control my walk as I walk to the sitting room.
After the programme we are summoned to come in the room to have supper. I have never been more anxious. Somehow I feel asthough I am going to be punished if I do something wrong so every step of the way I decide to do things with care. There is a lovely meal of Nshima and beefwith cabbage and from the delightful aroma, I can tell that she used that stuffClara puts in our food that makes it go a bit yellow.
Thandiwes mum asks me if I have learnt how to cook Nshima yet and I respond in the negative. I tell her that Mama is teaching me but I am scared of burning.
‘Well if you are scared of doing something, it is the thing that you must do’. I go quiet and wait for further instructions. ‘Who wants to say grace?’
‘I don’t want to say grace aunty. Make Thandie doit’
‘Well for pointing fingers, you are going to say grace’
‘Why when God does not hear our prayers?’
‘Sweety, God hears even the smallest prayer’
I highly doubt it but I am not in the mood to argue so I obey and say a short prayer.
‘God bless this food before we take it, in Jesus name we pray, Amen’.
‘Good so are you excited about going to camp tomorrow?’
‘No I don’t want to but mama says I must go’
‘Shey it is not like you to hate camping and God.Do you want to tell me what is really going on?’
‘No I don’t want to tell you because’
‘Because…’
‘I might get punished’
‘By whom?’
I decide not to answer when I realise that I have already said too much. I feel like Trevor is right behind me watching me makingsure that I don’t say anything.
Thandie watches on silently and continues withher meal. I wonder why she is grilling me when Thandie is not interested in going to bible school either but I guess that is just because she is still being made to do regardless of what she wants. When we are done with supper aunty tells us to wash up and then we can play a game of monopoly. By the time we aregoing to be done it will be time for bed since we have to wake up super earlyfor us to go camping. I volunteer to do the drying if Thandie can do thewashing up.
When I get up from the table, my hands are trembling so much that I cannot hold the plate properly. Aunty notices and offers to take the plate. ‘Listen you need to be comfortable her. You have beenhere several times before and there is no reason why you should be nervous or shy! It is like I am looking at a completely different Shekinah!’ I pull myself together and decide to try and have a bit more control over my nerves but it isnot long before I break a plate.
‘Shekinah!’ Aunty shouts and I quickly shield myself with my hands. I know what is coming, she is going to hit me or slap me because I am a bad child. I know I deserve it. Immediately tears start streaming down my face. To my surprise, she does not hit me. Instead she takes me by the hand and tells me to go to the bathroom and take a bath. ‘I will finish up here with Thandie OK?’
‘I am sorry’ I manage to whimper.
‘It is fine. Let me take you to the bathroom andgive you a towel.’
I don’t bother to take long in the bath. It frightens me to be alone especially when I have to close my eyes and not see what’s coming. Aunty comes in the bathroom and quickly tells me she is going to help me get dry. ‘You know, you are a big girl now and I don’t have to dry you downright’ she smiles. ‘But when you were much younger it was easy, now you are getting tiny little breasts and you are supposed to act like a big girl’ I nodin agreement. ‘Now I am going to tell you something because your mother phoned me and asked me to make sure that you are OK and I want you to be completely honest with me. Open your legs because I want to check something.’
‘I can’t’
‘Shey I am not asking you I am telling you. Open your legs’
‘I can’t because it hurts’
‘Do you know what a virgin is?’ I shake my head because I am pretty clueless.
‘Mary was a virgin. It means that she never had aman climb on top of her and put his peepee inside her. Now remember I told you that you are a big girl now? You need to show me so I can help you.’ I take a moment to think about what she is asking me then reluctantly agree.
‘Shey, there are some cuts down there. Did someone hurt you?’ I nod.
‘Do you know who hurt you?’
I nod again.
‘Why have you not told your mother?’
‘No I have not.’ She takes a deep breath and tells me that being a virgin is a very precious thing and I am only allowed tolet my husband enter me. She is very calm and gently helps me dress.
‘You have to make sure you talk to your mother. If you do not want to tell me who did it, you should make sure you tell your mother OK? Nothing bad will happen. Whoever did this to you is a bad person and should not have done it in the first place’
‘Aunty said no one will believe me…’Thandie’s mum is furious.
‘Aunty who? Your aunty knew? I will kill thatstupid woman. Tell your mother everything OK. She is your mother. She will believe you’
I break down crying and aunty hugs me tight.
‘Aunty….’
‘Yes baby’
‘Does this mean I am not a virgin?’
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