There's only so much more I can with all this waiting. Mutale and I are trying to convince the cow behind the glass that we need a scan and we need it now. I am under strict instruction not to speak because I may incur charges via more bribes.
'Sir, we have knocked off. We can schedule you in for another appointment but it won't be today' the woman behind the counter insists after Mutale tries all manner of persuasion but to no avail. I am now in intolerable pain. It is amazing how people can shed off their human skin at the prospect of making a bit more money. The truth is that most people may interview well and tell you all the cute things that you want to hear about how they want the job because they have always wanted to help people, or that it has always been a lifelong dream to be a nurse. In England, perhaps this has an element of truth in it. The nurses are polite, confident and offer you the best care you can get, not to mention they would definitely face a disciplinary army if they did anything less. However you also get what you pay for and the lack of proper pay triggers the mal treatment that you find here. It is the disease of overworked, underpaid and pissed off! But not at the expense of my baby!
'Listen, to me, I need that scan and I am not going to decorate my language and plead with you for a job that you are legally obligated to do. You are working in a department where you know you should not close early. For the doctor to send me here, he knows that you are open. So here is what we are going to do, you going to take my details, arrange that scan before you regret trying to swindle money out of a lawyer!!!If my baby dies because of your negligence I will have you by the tits and you will have no job got it?' I let the words marinade for a minute then the woman calls my bluff and begins to sort out the paper work.
' You will be seen in about ten minutes. I am going to call the receptionist to sort it out.' That's more like it some progress! Mutale smiles as he sits next to me. 'Nice job Counsel.' The woman who was behind the counter comes back and takes the mop and bucket and starts cleaning!! She was the cleaner! Can you believe this foolishness! I give her a scornful look and she apologises saying the right person to attend to me. Meanwhile, I must drink a lot of water for the scan to be read apparently my bladder should be bursting!
'Come on Lubuto. Be strong for mommy OK. Just a little while longer and we can be home nice and dry.' I have just changed my sanitary towel for the second time. At least it is not a lot of blood coming out but the fact is that the blood is there and that is frightening enough. Still, I have hope that everything will be fine. The paper work is sorted and I am called in for my scan. Mutale waits outside for me even though I really wish he would come in. I am not as strong as I think I am after all. What would really be nice is if I could be able to talk about all of this with mother dearest. Aren't mothers supposed to make everything better or appear to be better than they really are? It is amazing to think the person I would never have imagined in a million years to take me through a crisis such as this is the one who is by side through the most trying time of my life.
I try to read the ladies face to see if I can pick up from her expressions anything about my babies state. She is so robotic and intimidating clearly angry that she has to do some work when she was planning for an early clean break. . I ask her if everything is OK but she simply tells me that Dr will explain it to me. Her job is just to take the scan. Bloody hell. Are these people not supposed to be helping me keep my blood pressure down? Their behaviour is disconcerting to say the least and worse still the depression is overwhelming! Probably because my hormones are all over the place. She scribbles something on my file in doctors writing and instructs me to head back to Dr Ntazana. I try to read the writing but there is no use.
Five missed calls - Ryan. Sigh. I don’t have time for this. Mutale stands up promptly as I walk into the room and rushes to my side. If ever you could describe a guardian angel, it would be him. He guides me back to Dr Ntazanas office. We intercept him at the entrance of his office. He takes a look at the scan and with a serious look of concern he tells me 'I am ordering you to go on bed rest for the next few days. The scan shows the baby is still there and the cervix is still closed so if you stay in bed and rest, everything should be fine. I need you to seriously be comfortable and stress free OK. If the bleeding continues, do not even hesitate to come back Melanie. This is crucial whether it is midnight, you need to come back to the hospital'.
'It is fine Dr. I will not leave her side for a minute' Mutale says cuddling me once more. Gosh this is a huge relief. At least I know Lubuto is in good hands. This hugging between us is a bit inappropriate…or is it? I feel quite different around Mutale. It is as though the world and all its forces cannot touch a hair on head if they tried. We thank Dr and head out of the crowded busy hospital. Mutale opens the door for me to his car. I have never seen him treat any of his girlfriends with so much respect as he does me. I must say, I never even like the idea of him being Ryan's mate for fear he would lead him astray but it turns out I was completely wrong. 'For you little bird, you are not going home tonight.' He says, his lips holding a secret I am dying to decipher. I try to argue that he heard the Dr's orders and he agrees that yes he did and that is the reason I will not be heading home. ' There is too much stress at home so tonight you can stay in any hotel of your choice'
'No Mutiz that is completely out of order, I cannot possibly do that and what do I say to Ryan?'
'It is not like we are lovers. I am making sure you have the best possible care you deserve. I will not pounce on you I promise'. I agree and pick the intercontinental hotel. On our way, I text Ryan and tell him the results but when he calls back he sasys ' oh baby that is great. See, I told you, you worry too much'. 'I cannot bear it!. Do not stress Lanie you need to be calm' I tell myself. Lubuto's survival depends on my complete and utter relaxation.
Our suite is amazing offering an excellent view of the city not to mention that now that it is getting dark, Lusaka looks like a dream with all the lights on. There is a marvellous queen size bed as well as a beautiful glass sliding door. The mahogany tables and cream walls provide the warm homely feeling that makes you feel as though you married a prince as opposed to staying in a hotel. I stand in the doorway and allow myself to take the scene in. It is perfect. I feel Mutale slide his hands under my arms resting his hands on my belly. He pulls me closer to him in a gentle embrace. I think of resisting, I really do, but for what? It is as though I am watching myself from out of space as I melt into his arms and allow myself to be held. His chin rests on my shoulder and my hands hold his at the front ' I hope you love it' he whispers.
'It is perfect'
'Now you remember Dr said you should rest, so all I need from you is to lie down and watch telly, and I will order room service. You need to eat right now' he orders. 'I have also taken the liberty of booking for a foot massage. You do not have to go to them they will come to you. All that walking you have done has obviously not good for our….I mean the baby'.
'I think he will be fine Mutale' I say reassuringly. 'Thank you for everything'.
The night is calming, amazing and stress free. This is the holiday I should have had in the first place. Lubuto and I lie in Mutale's arms watching TV until we fall asleep. The perfect night.
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