It has been two weeks since the nightmare. I have
heard from Ryan every day since then but thesupport has been anything
but support. He and I had a massive fall out because I got severe
stomach cramps that felt almost like period pains. I looked it up online
and told him the if cramps were severe I should see the doctor
insteadhe had called me and said 'baby my friend says it is normal'. Of
course I went ape shit. What the hell did he mean by his mate says it is
normal? Since when do the blasted men carry babies eh? No never right?
That's what I thought.
'You know what baby!I can't do this! Everything I say you get mad at me. No! It is not fair! Whenyou think you and the baby need me let me know!' Huh! Talk about a get out of jail free card. If he thinks manipulation works with me he can think again. He wants space so I have given him a galaxy! Mutale on the other hand has beenthere for me through any little scare. Unlike Ryan, he has been at every hospital appointment, every small fuss, every lunch after driving lessons andlast week, he sponsored me to a three hour spa treatment at Avocado.
He of course blushed when the doctor referred to him as my husband although neither of us objected. We just smiled. That was my second scan. Ryan had promised to attend but bailed on me last minute saying they could not give him the afternoon off. Anyway wehave been fine without him so far. Ryan was taken by surprise when I asked him if I could use his place this weekend to get away from the stress at home. He declined of course ' oh geez I would love you to but I can't because dad saysmy brother is in need of place to stay because he has had a fall out with mystep mum'.
'Ryan, I am only going to say this once. I am not going to be a back bencher anymore. Step your game up. Tell your dad you have issues of your own that you need his help withor you can lose my number. I am done playing tom and freaking Jerry with you'.I did not shout, I did not nag, I simply left it at that. The next day he hadcalled to say he had finally told his dad about the pregnancy. Now hear this,whilst I got a lot of shit from my parents, he got off lightly. The father simply requested to see my father re formal introductions and if the issue of damage comes up then they will address that too. I have told mother dearest about this development. She is content with it and has made the necessary arrangements for the meeting. Only my friends and Ryan know that I am really pregnant.
Today is my day off so I decide to go to Mimiand let her do my hair. I walk the two blocks to her house and notice a lot of pregnant women in the street. Are you telling me they have always been around? I notice one getting ready to put her Zara dressed footinto a mercedes. Her husband fits a brand new car seat in the back seat whilst she gets herself comfortable. Closer to Mimi's place I pass two ghetto women wrapped in chitenges. One has a twig in her mouth that is clearly missing itsgrass roots. The other one should be about four months pregnant and isgossiping about some gardener who has been caught doing vigololo with the localmarket trader Rumour has it that she is screwing someones hubby whilst herstall is right in front of the local school.
'And get this..' the woman squeals excitedly. ' They were found stuck together' she says claspingher hands as to demonstrate the grotesque scene. 'Now the man has been sued andhe has to pay for marriage interferance'. My jaw drops so far to the ground Ican taste the dust. Marriage interferance? What kind of law is this? Were the two not consenting adults? If the man has to pay, should the woman not pay his wife as well? If you ask me, it is a whole load of rubbish and a waste of the courts time really.
I arrive at Mimi's place which has been completely seized by an army of about 12 little boys. All friends of her nephews. They run around the yard playing some game that no girlwould dare have interest in lest she fancied one of the boys. Mimi lets me in and we get to doing my hair immediately. Gosh her hand is painful. She tosses my head from one side to the next trying to get the plaits tight as possible.'Mimi chill man this is too much my head hurts!' I squeal butshe does notlisten. She claims she is doing her best to be gentle but if Hitler knew thisgirls hand, he would have used it as punishment in concentration camps!
'So tell me what isgoing on with you and Mutale?'
'How dare you! Youknow he is just a friend and your dad is trying to be on his best behaviournow'.
'I know you beenspending too much time with him. he is totally into you. Don't think I did notsee him drop you off at home the other night. You too were too close forcomfort mwe.'
'Girl when are yougoing to stop gossiping like? You know the guy is just concerned about me'. Noteven I am convinced about this. Mutale is absolutely adorable but I don't thinkhe is aiming for more than he already has.
'Hmmm, he is single,sleek haircut with the sharp edges the way you like, he is ambitious andbelieves in everything you do. For goodness sake he probably believes you cansummon the second coming if you wanted to. The guy shows up whenever you callno matter how mundane your problem is, he is there and...' she pauses then says' he is smart. geek chic style smart. The way you like them plus mummy youscreamed for him when you had that nightmare last week! It was not Ryan's nameyou called'. I decide to change the subject before entertaining any more of herdrama.
She is not too far from the truth. The more time I spend with Mutale the more he stains my brainwith thoughts of him. I am beginning to look forward to his phonecalls everynight which have by virtue, become a ritual. Mutale has been like Chichi in theabsence of Malachi. Ah honestly I think it is the pregnancy bringing thesesentiments on really. Mutale is reliable, stable, cute and caring and I am sureif my waters broke he would be by my side whether or not he was in a meeting inChina. Ok maybe not fly back per se but in this day and age, he would be ableto skype right. I offer no explanation to Mimi. Not when I don't know what isgoing on myself. Wait why am I even thinking about this? It is not like I wantanything to become of Mutale and I right?
'Mimi, what hashappened about the prophetess you told me about? I have been having awful dreams about my late brother trying to choke me on a daily basis since thatnight. The latest one, I was at our old house in Kitwe and there were peoplecrying which obviously looked like Chimunya's funeral. The confusing thing girlis they told me he was at the back of the house waiting to see me.'
'No way!! Dreamingabout dead people is so not sexy...'
'And then get thisright, when I go to the back of the house to look for Chimunya, I find himstanding withhis back to me surrounded by children. I was so overwhelmed withjoy and sadness at the same time. I just wanted to go over there and hughim...'
'Then?'
'Well he turned around and saw me standing there. He was every bit the angel and started walking towards me. But the closer he got to me...' I try to recall the rest ofthe dream trying not to show Mimi that even now the darn dream gave me thecreeps. 'The closer he got to me, I started backing off because he just lookedso....Anyway instead of hugging me, he reached for my throat and began chokingme.'
'Why would he chokeyou? You too were so close'
'I know. So Istarted chanting 'in the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus' but he got holdof my neck with both hands and the next scene, we were no longer at the funeral house but on my bed here in Lusaka and he was telling me that the rules arethat once he physically holds me, I must go with him!'
'Huh!! Did it feelreal? Yes it did'
'Kondwani!!' Alittle boy runs in covered from head to toe in dust. His legs look like he iswearing socks but it is just the dust he has been swimming in outside.
'Go to Ban Chola andtell her aunty needs prayers'. The little boy shoots off instantly and ten minutes later returns with a middle aged woman. She has a chitenge on and herhair has not seen a comb yet. She was obviously busy with something before shegot dragged out. We exchange pleasantries and apologise for any inconveniences.
'That boy of yoursdoes not take no for an answer! When I told him I was busy he said so is myaunty so come and see her some'.
I recount my dreams to her and after my second dream she stops me and asks 'Mufuna kukwatila? (Doyou want to get married) because God is showing me a young man who really loves you but there is someone trying to hinder your destiny. Balamutitikisha (compress him) ' she places her hands on her neck to demonstrate what she means by the word in relation to Ryan?. I have no idea what this has to do with my dreams but she carries on. 'The person who is behind the mask in that horrible dream youhad is trying to curse you not to have children but they masked themselves for a reason so you cannot know who it is. The dreams about your brother, it is all part of the plan for you not to marry this man because if you leave yourfather's house, this person cannot live off your destiny.
Once we pray about this, the dreams will cease. It is never a good omen to dream about dead people! I do not have to reveal to you who this person is. The more we pray foryou, their world will be disturbed and they will do anything to stop you fromseeing Ryan and from coming for prayers. You will one day hear them ask you 'nikwisa mu pepa? (where do you worship) then you will know that this is theperson'. With that she commands that the doors be locked so as for as not to bedisturbed by the children and she begins to pray for me 'In the name of JesusChrist of Nazareth you spirit of premature death, break by thunder by fire!!!Break!.'
Immediately there isa loud clap of thunder which goes on for about a minute. Bana Chola is deepinto the prayers. I am absolutely petrified. The thunder stops, the sun isstill shining and there is no sign of rain anywhere. Bana Chola finishespraying and reassures me that my pregnancy will be fine and that I will getmarried. 'You will never ever dream of the dead again'.
She leaves both Mimi and I in a state of shock. We are saved by the bell. It is Mutale. He comes bearing gifts. How did he know I would be here?
'Mutale! How so goodof you to stop by dear how are you?'
'Hahaha, I canlisten to you speak all day' he beams as he embraces me a little too long. Hisboyish charms are intoxicating to say the least. It is hard to read for definite what his body language says.
'Mmmm, Mutale! How did you know she was here?' Mimi teases taking the bags that he has set on the table to the kitchen.
'No you cheeky little thing! He says playfully. She told me she is coming here to do her hair last night so I decided to pop by and bring her and the little bun in the oven.I brought a DVD as well to keep us busy.'
'Us? so you are staying?'
'Erm...yes so one of you better put the nshima on the stove...'. Mimi punches his shoulder playfully but goes to the freezer and takes some meat out of the freezer to thaw. 'In addition Melanie, I thought a little dancing will do you some good.'
'Really? I don't feel like it.'
'You will once youhear who it is...' he says placing a cd gleefully into the stereo.
'' One night i'm dreaming....''
'eeeeeek it isMutinta!!!' I get up shrieking dropping hair extensions on the floor. I have a serious obsession with this woman and even adopt her swagger you know the whole African swag she got going on. Mutale and I begin doing karaoke
'This time i'm floating, soaring up high, little bird don't fly come on lets get high i'm so glad you around
yada yada yada ho oh oh what a feeling, little bird don't fly come on lets get high i'm so glad you around' we sing at the top of our voices and doing a tiny two step and clicking our fingers. I cannot help feeling happy whenever this song plays. Mutale pulls me into his arms spins me around as though we are ball room dancing. The smiles on our faces are priceless. Mimi stands in the doorway watching us smiling.
''Little girl islonely, she has no one to love her, no one to hug and no one to hold but she wearing a smile'' Mutale sings along looking deep into my eyes, a smile fixed on his boyish face. We dance and spin and sing and as a finale he twirls me round and catches me with his right hand around my waist and the other holding my hand in perfect ballroom fashion. He looks at me for a moment and says 'don't fly back to England. I am so glad you are around'. Mimi coughs and we break the assembly apart and settle down on the couch. Mutale puts the dvd on,clears the sofa of the hair extensions and settles down next to me then he takes my hand slyly and holds it whilst Mimi does my hair. The dvd makes for welcome distraction to this awkward but exhilarating moment.
My heart is flattering and I feel like a teenager again. He squeezes my hand a little. We simultaneously release our fingers wide enough for our hands to interlock. He turns, looks at me and smiles.....
Copyright ©Chisanshi K Malama 2013.
'You know what baby!I can't do this! Everything I say you get mad at me. No! It is not fair! Whenyou think you and the baby need me let me know!' Huh! Talk about a get out of jail free card. If he thinks manipulation works with me he can think again. He wants space so I have given him a galaxy! Mutale on the other hand has beenthere for me through any little scare. Unlike Ryan, he has been at every hospital appointment, every small fuss, every lunch after driving lessons andlast week, he sponsored me to a three hour spa treatment at Avocado.
He of course blushed when the doctor referred to him as my husband although neither of us objected. We just smiled. That was my second scan. Ryan had promised to attend but bailed on me last minute saying they could not give him the afternoon off. Anyway wehave been fine without him so far. Ryan was taken by surprise when I asked him if I could use his place this weekend to get away from the stress at home. He declined of course ' oh geez I would love you to but I can't because dad saysmy brother is in need of place to stay because he has had a fall out with mystep mum'.
'Ryan, I am only going to say this once. I am not going to be a back bencher anymore. Step your game up. Tell your dad you have issues of your own that you need his help withor you can lose my number. I am done playing tom and freaking Jerry with you'.I did not shout, I did not nag, I simply left it at that. The next day he hadcalled to say he had finally told his dad about the pregnancy. Now hear this,whilst I got a lot of shit from my parents, he got off lightly. The father simply requested to see my father re formal introductions and if the issue of damage comes up then they will address that too. I have told mother dearest about this development. She is content with it and has made the necessary arrangements for the meeting. Only my friends and Ryan know that I am really pregnant.
Today is my day off so I decide to go to Mimiand let her do my hair. I walk the two blocks to her house and notice a lot of pregnant women in the street. Are you telling me they have always been around? I notice one getting ready to put her Zara dressed footinto a mercedes. Her husband fits a brand new car seat in the back seat whilst she gets herself comfortable. Closer to Mimi's place I pass two ghetto women wrapped in chitenges. One has a twig in her mouth that is clearly missing itsgrass roots. The other one should be about four months pregnant and isgossiping about some gardener who has been caught doing vigololo with the localmarket trader Rumour has it that she is screwing someones hubby whilst herstall is right in front of the local school.
'And get this..' the woman squeals excitedly. ' They were found stuck together' she says claspingher hands as to demonstrate the grotesque scene. 'Now the man has been sued andhe has to pay for marriage interferance'. My jaw drops so far to the ground Ican taste the dust. Marriage interferance? What kind of law is this? Were the two not consenting adults? If the man has to pay, should the woman not pay his wife as well? If you ask me, it is a whole load of rubbish and a waste of the courts time really.
I arrive at Mimi's place which has been completely seized by an army of about 12 little boys. All friends of her nephews. They run around the yard playing some game that no girlwould dare have interest in lest she fancied one of the boys. Mimi lets me in and we get to doing my hair immediately. Gosh her hand is painful. She tosses my head from one side to the next trying to get the plaits tight as possible.'Mimi chill man this is too much my head hurts!' I squeal butshe does notlisten. She claims she is doing her best to be gentle but if Hitler knew thisgirls hand, he would have used it as punishment in concentration camps!
'So tell me what isgoing on with you and Mutale?'
'How dare you! Youknow he is just a friend and your dad is trying to be on his best behaviournow'.
'I know you beenspending too much time with him. he is totally into you. Don't think I did notsee him drop you off at home the other night. You too were too close forcomfort mwe.'
'Girl when are yougoing to stop gossiping like? You know the guy is just concerned about me'. Noteven I am convinced about this. Mutale is absolutely adorable but I don't thinkhe is aiming for more than he already has.
'Hmmm, he is single,sleek haircut with the sharp edges the way you like, he is ambitious andbelieves in everything you do. For goodness sake he probably believes you cansummon the second coming if you wanted to. The guy shows up whenever you callno matter how mundane your problem is, he is there and...' she pauses then says' he is smart. geek chic style smart. The way you like them plus mummy youscreamed for him when you had that nightmare last week! It was not Ryan's nameyou called'. I decide to change the subject before entertaining any more of herdrama.
She is not too far from the truth. The more time I spend with Mutale the more he stains my brainwith thoughts of him. I am beginning to look forward to his phonecalls everynight which have by virtue, become a ritual. Mutale has been like Chichi in theabsence of Malachi. Ah honestly I think it is the pregnancy bringing thesesentiments on really. Mutale is reliable, stable, cute and caring and I am sureif my waters broke he would be by my side whether or not he was in a meeting inChina. Ok maybe not fly back per se but in this day and age, he would be ableto skype right. I offer no explanation to Mimi. Not when I don't know what isgoing on myself. Wait why am I even thinking about this? It is not like I wantanything to become of Mutale and I right?
'Mimi, what hashappened about the prophetess you told me about? I have been having awful dreams about my late brother trying to choke me on a daily basis since thatnight. The latest one, I was at our old house in Kitwe and there were peoplecrying which obviously looked like Chimunya's funeral. The confusing thing girlis they told me he was at the back of the house waiting to see me.'
'No way!! Dreamingabout dead people is so not sexy...'
'And then get thisright, when I go to the back of the house to look for Chimunya, I find himstanding withhis back to me surrounded by children. I was so overwhelmed withjoy and sadness at the same time. I just wanted to go over there and hughim...'
'Then?'
'Well he turned around and saw me standing there. He was every bit the angel and started walking towards me. But the closer he got to me...' I try to recall the rest ofthe dream trying not to show Mimi that even now the darn dream gave me thecreeps. 'The closer he got to me, I started backing off because he just lookedso....Anyway instead of hugging me, he reached for my throat and began chokingme.'
'Why would he chokeyou? You too were so close'
'I know. So Istarted chanting 'in the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus' but he got holdof my neck with both hands and the next scene, we were no longer at the funeral house but on my bed here in Lusaka and he was telling me that the rules arethat once he physically holds me, I must go with him!'
'Huh!! Did it feelreal? Yes it did'
'Kondwani!!' Alittle boy runs in covered from head to toe in dust. His legs look like he iswearing socks but it is just the dust he has been swimming in outside.
'Go to Ban Chola andtell her aunty needs prayers'. The little boy shoots off instantly and ten minutes later returns with a middle aged woman. She has a chitenge on and herhair has not seen a comb yet. She was obviously busy with something before shegot dragged out. We exchange pleasantries and apologise for any inconveniences.
'That boy of yoursdoes not take no for an answer! When I told him I was busy he said so is myaunty so come and see her some'.
I recount my dreams to her and after my second dream she stops me and asks 'Mufuna kukwatila? (Doyou want to get married) because God is showing me a young man who really loves you but there is someone trying to hinder your destiny. Balamutitikisha (compress him) ' she places her hands on her neck to demonstrate what she means by the word in relation to Ryan?. I have no idea what this has to do with my dreams but she carries on. 'The person who is behind the mask in that horrible dream youhad is trying to curse you not to have children but they masked themselves for a reason so you cannot know who it is. The dreams about your brother, it is all part of the plan for you not to marry this man because if you leave yourfather's house, this person cannot live off your destiny.
Once we pray about this, the dreams will cease. It is never a good omen to dream about dead people! I do not have to reveal to you who this person is. The more we pray foryou, their world will be disturbed and they will do anything to stop you fromseeing Ryan and from coming for prayers. You will one day hear them ask you 'nikwisa mu pepa? (where do you worship) then you will know that this is theperson'. With that she commands that the doors be locked so as for as not to bedisturbed by the children and she begins to pray for me 'In the name of JesusChrist of Nazareth you spirit of premature death, break by thunder by fire!!!Break!.'
Immediately there isa loud clap of thunder which goes on for about a minute. Bana Chola is deepinto the prayers. I am absolutely petrified. The thunder stops, the sun isstill shining and there is no sign of rain anywhere. Bana Chola finishespraying and reassures me that my pregnancy will be fine and that I will getmarried. 'You will never ever dream of the dead again'.
She leaves both Mimi and I in a state of shock. We are saved by the bell. It is Mutale. He comes bearing gifts. How did he know I would be here?
'Mutale! How so goodof you to stop by dear how are you?'
'Hahaha, I canlisten to you speak all day' he beams as he embraces me a little too long. Hisboyish charms are intoxicating to say the least. It is hard to read for definite what his body language says.
'Mmmm, Mutale! How did you know she was here?' Mimi teases taking the bags that he has set on the table to the kitchen.
'No you cheeky little thing! He says playfully. She told me she is coming here to do her hair last night so I decided to pop by and bring her and the little bun in the oven.I brought a DVD as well to keep us busy.'
'Us? so you are staying?'
'Erm...yes so one of you better put the nshima on the stove...'. Mimi punches his shoulder playfully but goes to the freezer and takes some meat out of the freezer to thaw. 'In addition Melanie, I thought a little dancing will do you some good.'
'Really? I don't feel like it.'
'You will once youhear who it is...' he says placing a cd gleefully into the stereo.
'' One night i'm dreaming....''
'eeeeeek it isMutinta!!!' I get up shrieking dropping hair extensions on the floor. I have a serious obsession with this woman and even adopt her swagger you know the whole African swag she got going on. Mutale and I begin doing karaoke
'This time i'm floating, soaring up high, little bird don't fly come on lets get high i'm so glad you around
yada yada yada ho oh oh what a feeling, little bird don't fly come on lets get high i'm so glad you around' we sing at the top of our voices and doing a tiny two step and clicking our fingers. I cannot help feeling happy whenever this song plays. Mutale pulls me into his arms spins me around as though we are ball room dancing. The smiles on our faces are priceless. Mimi stands in the doorway watching us smiling.
''Little girl islonely, she has no one to love her, no one to hug and no one to hold but she wearing a smile'' Mutale sings along looking deep into my eyes, a smile fixed on his boyish face. We dance and spin and sing and as a finale he twirls me round and catches me with his right hand around my waist and the other holding my hand in perfect ballroom fashion. He looks at me for a moment and says 'don't fly back to England. I am so glad you are around'. Mimi coughs and we break the assembly apart and settle down on the couch. Mutale puts the dvd on,clears the sofa of the hair extensions and settles down next to me then he takes my hand slyly and holds it whilst Mimi does my hair. The dvd makes for welcome distraction to this awkward but exhilarating moment.
My heart is flattering and I feel like a teenager again. He squeezes my hand a little. We simultaneously release our fingers wide enough for our hands to interlock. He turns, looks at me and smiles.....
Copyright ©Chisanshi K Malama 2013.
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