Thursday 14 November 2013

Healing from Cheating

There is so much that we go through as people. When it comes to other challenging issues in life, we tend to move on quickly from the pain. The loss of a loved one can be painful but with time, the wound begins to close up and eventually even the scar and before you know it- you are struggling to remember their face. Do we stop loving them? No but we heal.

The one thing people tend to find difficult to heal or recover from is cheating. Cheating leaves scars that take a lifetime to fade. We tend to carry this scar into the next relationship. Constantly looking over our shoulder wondering if we can trust again or if the pain from that trauma will ever leave us free. Sometimes we punish our new spouse for something that happened with someone else.

This is one issue that fragments couples of any calibre. Money issues, people recover, alcoholism-people endure but bring cheating and the relationship loses all hope of recovery. It becomes a cancer that goes occasionally into remission but rears its ugly head again and makes you question the value of life. Trust is nothing but a mirage, a distant hope that never arrives. You still the cracks in the mirror. Yes you may forgive, but forgetting becomes a whole other issue.

So now you look at him/her as their lies increase trying to cover up any trace of indiscretion but your soul knows- especially as a woman. You see it in your dreams, you feel it in your heart and you - well you just know don't you.

What makes this pain linger for so long? It is because it was something you allowed yourself to become vulnerable to and the person you were supposed to trust with your love and your heart, took advantage of the most precious thing you had to offer and shattered it.

I have been through it and know the pain that it inflicts and the hope it robes you of. Now when I listen to gospel it reminds me of he who is in me. He has plans to heal and prosper me. I say let it be unto him. It is not my job to sit around wondering if a man is trust worthy for in God's infinite love, he always reveals the things that want to harm us. Illness does not hide in the body for long, it is exposed so that there is a chance for treatment. All I have to do is trust God to look out for me. Not man for I am nothing without God. I have no x-ray vision. Even the female intuition that I take pride in, is all by his grace.

So then I make a choice to love and be loved and trust God to bring the right person into my life. If we do things by our own strength that is when we fail miserably. Be it unto me, according to your word, according to your promises I cant stand secure. Carve upon my heart, the truth that sets me free, according to your word oh Lord - be it unto me.