Wednesday 2 October 2013

Silent Wives- Chapter 20- Gertrude



Passy’s tears begin to wind me up. She is trembling and like a leaf. The chitenge she has on rises and falls every two seconds. She picks up the edges and begins to tie a knot whilst her shoulder attempts to wipe the snot streamlining watery trails down her nose. I grab the stick from her and note the reading that she is just as I feared. She is pregnant.

‘Passy, who is the father?’

‘Awe aunty-y if I tell you, the person will be in trouble’

‘So help me God! Who is he? Is it Temwani?’ I shout? Passy is genuinely frightened but shakes her head no. her constant denial makes me feel guilty and humiliated for having to compete with my maid for a man. My standards are officially non-existent.
‘It is not ba Uncle. It- it- it is the gate man next door oo….’ Her voice trails off into a whimper. I should not be surprised but I am. I coax her to tell me more. She reveals that the pair of them are the ones who left the condom in my room and have been doing it at his work place since then. I feel nauseated. I should fire her for defacing my room. I feel really dirty. I really have been living in the dark for so long that I cannot even put two and two together when it comes to my maid. I sit quietly lost for words. Passy is a damn good maid and aside the fact that she is pregnant and this might affect her job, I still want to keep her on.

‘OK but do you know if he is going to want the baby?’

‘Oh aunty! He said that we should not even try to get pregnant. I tried but I think that the condom broku!’ she wails aloud like a hungry child. This is an awkward moment. I do not know whether to put my arm around her or to wait until she finishes crying. Diana and I have never really been strong when it comes to such situations. We are always so awkward!

‘Passy, you will still have to talk to him and tell him. Maybe he will change his mind. Men can say one thing and then be completely different about it the next minute. Just try and tell him….’

‘Oh Aunty I cannot! He is married.’

‘Oh great Passy you just get more complex as the day goes by don’t you?’

‘Aunty, I just thought we would have fun. His wife is in mpatamato and even works there.’ She says coaxing her head to one side as if this information makes it OK for her to creep. She has this innocence about her that makes you want to care for her scandalous self.

‘Well come in the kitchen and sit down and let us figure this out. You know Temwani is almost here and he will be demanding his food as usual.’ Passy follows me down the dark hall way and into the kitchen. We have no electricity today because of load shedding so I ask her to take the brazier for the food. I go into the pantry and fetch the candles to illuminate the room. She steps outside and shakes the brazier of the previous ashy residues before loading it with new charcoal. When the light is ready she sits on the small stool and gathers the chitenge between her legs and fans the fire with a plate. The smoke gathers for a while and you can hear the fire begin to crackle under the load of charcoal. Passy flinches to avoid the smoke stinging her eyes but it is too late. She is an emotional wreck probably because of the hormones.

‘Here you go. Put the meat on from the previous night and I will help you to do the vegetables.’
I take a second stool and place it opposite her. The child in me misses the times when we used to sit by the fire and with the help and listen to stories derived from a radio station that had a programme called ‘ilyashi lya pano isonde’ which translates to something like stories of this world. Anyway all I remember is that those stories were addictive but had me wide eyed when it was time for bed. Yet despite this I still listened to them religiously. I place the bowl with vegetables in it on the floor and another empty one on my lap and begin cutting.

‘Aunty my own mother is going to be very angry with me when she finds out that I am pregnant.’

‘Passy you will have to face her. What else are you going to do? You knew what you were doing te?’

‘Yes but it was just for fun-y’

‘OK so now it is time to be a grown up and do face the music especially with your baby daddy. I am just glad it did not turn out to be my Temwani’ I say shaking the knife so that the little pointed tip is in her direction.

‘Aunty I need to tell you something’

‘What is it Passy’

‘Aunty I don’t know if I should say anything but you are very good to me-e ah’ I look up from what I am cutting and momentarily stare at her. A girl knows when that news that we all dread is about to strike. It comes all disguised and what not and you try not to hear it, in fact you do everything to wish it away but this heart of ours a tenacity to confirm this particular fear. It is like a disease amongst us women. A code that will start to prepare for the minute you hear these fatal words.

‘Tell me Passy….’

She hesitates a moment but not long enough. ‘Aunty ba uncle has been seen with a ka girl from your skulu’ There she said it. She dropped the bomb on my little heart blowing it into smithereens. I continue cutting the vegetables and don’t say anything.

‘We have seen him a few times with this light skinned girl and they were even holding amaboko-hands. Sometimes on our way home na ba beat-y, we see them near the tuma shops talking by his car. It is that girl they call Gertrude’

‘Thank you for telling Passy you did the right thing’ I was hoping this would be a sign to her that she needs to stop talking now but she is on a roll now.

‘People have been talking saying she has been telling them that it is because….’ She stops talking and starts stirring the food instead of completing her sentence. I look up and notice that she is stalling. Trying to hold back some information.
‘What do they say Passy…’ she takes a deep sigh and explains that everyone says it is because I have not given him a child and that he is planning on marrying this Gertrude of a character. I should scream. I should pour this very sauce on his face but goodness I do not want to cause a scene in front of Passy.

Shortly afterwards, we hear Temwani’s car pull up and that’s when my blood truly begins to boil……

 

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