Tuesday 20 August 2013

Bigger than Love pt2





I get home and head straight for the bathroom. I don't stop to say hello and almost step on my pet chicken as I dash for the bathroom like my life depended on it.

I pee on the stick and wait.

Nothing.

Maybe I should wait a second longer. There it is. In clear lines. The most reliable kit on the market. It claims I have a little thing inside me which will soon become a huge thing. Oh crap! What have I done? I look around me at the four walls of the small blue bathroom of my father’s house absolutely paralysed.

My fairy tale seriously just turned into a nightmare. Not because I don't want a baby. Do I? And if I don’t, don’t want it that is, does that make me a bad person? Don't get it twisted, I have always wanted a baby for like the longest time possible but I wanted it with a husband a house and the whole shebang. Not like this!! I had always dreamt that when the time came I would be at home waiting for my husband to come home and I would break the news to him. Ideally he would be excited and fling me into his arms in our cosy little apartment in Oxford and yea you know how the rest of it goes.

I had never ever thought I would be sitting here dreading this moment worse of all in the toilet.

"Alo!!! Open the door you been in there too long Man !! I need to go to class" my brother Jay shouts.

"OK! just a second." I do my best to pull myself together and open the toilet door.

" Jesus Jasmine! You look like you just seen  a ghost what’s the matter?"

I dash to my room and lock the door behind me. I have no clue what to do and the strength is gone from knees. I decide to sit down in front of the big mahogany dresser that my father installed in my room when i returned. There is a big double bed in the room and a mirror to match. My dresser has the Britney Spears fantasy perfume on it and the whole room is filled with its glorious scent. I bet Jay had knicked some of it as usual. It has clearly been recently sprayed. My make up kit has a Mac foundation peeping out of it. Probably from this morning when I dashed out to buy the kit. I pick it up and place it back in the pouch and wipe the marks off the marble floor.

I should call someone. I need to talk to someone before I lose it. The perfect person would be my best friend ChiChi but my girl works like tomorrow is not promised a day.  I scroll down to Mum...no she should be the last person to find out even though we are so close she will blow her fuse on this I think and lecture me about how God is going to be very unhappy with me. My mother is very pious she puts Mary mother of God to shame.

Cursor lands on Ryan...Love of my life...Father of my child after only three months of dating....

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