The child in me

so this is me...tired and despaired
looking at myself helplessly like a child lost
yes i am a child lost
looking at myself through my grown up eyes
a child stuck in a huge dress

everyday the grown up in me tries to do right
but is often defeated by the cries of the child inside
am i responsible for what happened then...
no but i cannot help feeling that the one i really love
carried me for nine months
is unhappy because of me.

no matter how much the grown up tries to grow
the child in me cries
trying to break free from this tie, this bond that has enslaved you and I
the very reason you are my smile and am your frown
is the one reason that has let you live in fear
and me in anxiety
to threaten your relationship and exhaust mine

we pray and tag and fight
yet constantly this cord brings us back to where we started
at the beginning of our nine months
me the seed and you the tree
sheltering me when it rained the hardest
and yet when the farmer cuts you down....am not strong enough to save you

so tell me child,
no tell me grown up,
tell me Jesus.....when do i get the freedom
and peace of mind to be me
the real me