Bigger than Love part 5

' Amake Jose! Amake Jose!' Ryan calls out to his maid as we reach his place. He walks to the outside tap and attempts to turn off the water which Amake Jose has has obviously failed to turn off effectively.

'Amake Jose!!!' Amake Jose comes running from the back of the house at the same time trying to tie the chitenge that is unwrapping around her waist, ready for the telling off that she is about to receive.  Ryan always gets worked up when he finds the tap dripping and with good reason too. The water bill is incredible. Amake Jose is sweet though and I don't like to see her in trouble. I shoot Malachi a look that says 'don't bollock the poor woman baby' and he softens up.

'Amake Jose,don't forget to turn off the water when you are done. It costs a lot for bills.'

' Oh. OK.' Amake Jose responds sheepishly but is grateful for my interference. She picks up her laundry basket and puts it on her head and heads back to her activities behind the house. Ryan and I go back to his room after he harasses the tenants to pay up their rent. I turn the television on and watch Rafaela being stuck as usual between several lovers competing for her love. I am inclined to think that Rafaela is really a bit of a loose woman.

'Baby, can we talk about this?' I say to Ryan. Since coming back from the hospital he has been a bit distant. It is not surprising seeing as it is not every day you wake up and find out that you are going to be a father but I am absolutely terrified of what is to come at home.

'A bit later Baby' he responds distracted. It seems as though the whole damn world can see through my body and see the little thing implanted in my stomach, or is it uterus? Worse still, I don't have my mother who I am so used to telling everything. I am waiting for her to text back after receiving my panic stricken message telling her of my plight. If I remember correctly, I sent her message saying ' I think I am pregnant and I am absolutely terrified. I don't know whether to keep it or not and what to tell dad. Please call me, I need to talk to you'. Mum was still in England following her separation from Dad. I check my phone for the hundredth time that day and decide to distract myself by writing some poetry instead because right now this Rafaela chick is doing my head in!

"

She is light on her feet

laughter so sweet

flirty little creature

full of adventure

Her soft whisper echoed across the seas

I summon you mighty bull

charge across the oceans hither

Sauntered forth to the horizon

karmically linked like the unification of two halves

flighty and breezy

her air embraced me

a goddess in every sense

the balance to my imperfection

There's a place we call home

a place where it's just you and I

where logic meets intellect

and stubbornness balanced by charm

where laughter is endless

and conflict avoided

you gentle as a breeze

but mighty as a Bull

There's a sound we love

the sound of your voice

responsible for the joy I feel

There's a place for compromise

of gentle understanding and love abundance

where we paint a picture of you and I

and refuse to ever stop dreaming

There's a room we call romance

where you love music and I love poetry

Sing to me about your dreams

your fears

your joys

and of course your love

I will write of your serenity

that brings harmony to my adventures

I will write of your protection

that makes me feel safe and composed

I will write of your laughter

which sounds like you can't be bothered but my soul hears and holds dear

I will write of the comfort you find at home

whilst i explore the outdoors for you

to bring you tales of adventures

that one day we can do together

but mostly I will write of the way you love me

There's a place we call real

which is just as pleasant as the dream

a place where me and you understand

even when the other is not saying anything

a place where you get stubborn

and I gently ease you back to the place where you see

that there are two sides to every coin

A place where there's love

nothing but love mapped out for us

A place where no other man enters

because of the BULL at my gates"

I read back what I have written to myself and realise I have written about our star signs. Ryan is a Taurus and I a Libra. The perfect combination according to astrologist. My phone vibrates and it is dad calling. Oh dear God I have a bad feeling about this.

' Hi daddy'

' Ba mayo where are you?'

'In Kabwata dad' I say as calmly as I can manage.

'Doing what?!' Dad says somewhat irritated.

'Chilling'

' Chilling? what on earth is that even supposed to mean? You better get home and get home fast' Daddy says hastily and then hangs up. That was a weird phone call because daddy hardly ever raises his voice at me. If he is mad at his little Lanie, he finds vicarious ways of telling me off and that is via my brothers.

'Ryan, I think dad knows'.

'Knows what?.' Ryan says whilst taking out the piece of paper confirming my pregnancy and carefully storing it in his stash of important documents.

' That I am pregnant' I say avoiding Ryans' gaze.

'Awwww my poor Baby. He does not know that you are pregnant he is just being protective'. Ryan walks back over to me and begins to kiss me. Is  he for real? This is exactly the mess that got us in trouble in the first place.

' I am serious. He spoke to me in a strange way. I think mum told him.'

' How would mum know?'

'I sent her text telling her'.

' Melanie!!! What the hell??? Everyone knows the parents should always be the last to know! Why would you tell her?'

'Well first of all I am not in the habit of falling pregnant nor do I know of people falling pregnant outside of marriage so pardon me but in England I tell my mum everything from who I date to when I am coming home from clubbing. Needless to say it is the lack of such stringent rules that have kept me out of trouble all these years because I do not have to sneak around like I do here in Zambia. Naturally, the first person I thought of was my mother. I just did not expect her to run off and tell dad before speaking to me' I shout. I am furious. This is not exactly listed on my every day to do list.

' Oh.. but babe. It is early days yet. You should have waited' Ryan says trying to maintain his composure. ' Ryan, do not upset me' I say flicking my Brazilian weave back ' I am with child. My phone vibrates again and it is a text from mum. A livid pious text from mum. Sigh....