Passy’s tears
begin to wind me up. She is trembling and like a leaf. The chitenge she has on
rises and falls every two seconds. She picks up the edges and begins to tie a
knot whilst her shoulder attempts to wipe the snot streamlining watery trails
down her nose. I grab the stick from her and note the reading that she is just
as I feared. She is pregnant.
‘Passy, who is
the father?’
‘Awe aunty-y if
I tell you, the person will be in trouble’
‘So help me
God! Who is he? Is it Temwani?’ I shout? Passy is genuinely frightened but
shakes her head no. her constant denial makes me feel guilty and humiliated for
having to compete with my maid for a man. My standards are officially
non-existent.
‘It is not ba
Uncle. It- it- it is the gate man next door oo….’ Her voice trails off into a
whimper. I should not be surprised but I am. I coax her to tell me more. She
reveals that the pair of them are the ones who left the condom in my room and
have been doing it at his work place since then. I feel nauseated. I should fire
her for defacing my room. I feel really dirty. I really have been living in the
dark for so long that I cannot even put two and two together when it comes to
my maid. I sit quietly lost for words. Passy is a damn good maid and aside the
fact that she is pregnant and this might affect her job, I still want to keep
her on.
‘OK but do you
know if he is going to want the baby?’
‘Oh aunty! He said
that we should not even try to get pregnant. I tried but I think that the
condom broku!’ she wails aloud like a hungry child. This is an awkward moment. I
do not know whether to put my arm around her or to wait until she finishes
crying. Diana and I have never really been strong when it comes to such
situations. We are always so awkward!
‘Passy, you
will still have to talk to him and tell him. Maybe he will change his mind. Men
can say one thing and then be completely different about it the next minute. Just
try and tell him….’
‘Oh Aunty I cannot!
He is married.’
‘Oh great Passy
you just get more complex as the day goes by don’t you?’
‘Aunty, I just
thought we would have fun. His wife is in mpatamato and even works there.’ She says
coaxing her head to one side as if this information makes it OK for her to
creep. She has this innocence about her that makes you want to care for her scandalous
self.
‘Well come in
the kitchen and sit down and let us figure this out. You know Temwani is almost
here and he will be demanding his food as usual.’ Passy follows me down the
dark hall way and into the kitchen. We have no electricity today because of
load shedding so I ask her to take the brazier for the food. I go into the
pantry and fetch the candles to illuminate the room. She steps outside and
shakes the brazier of the previous ashy residues before loading it with new
charcoal. When the light is ready she sits on the small stool and gathers the
chitenge between her legs and fans the fire with a plate. The smoke gathers for
a while and you can hear the fire begin to crackle under the load of charcoal.
Passy flinches to avoid the smoke stinging her eyes but it is too late. She is
an emotional wreck probably because of the hormones.
‘Here you go. Put
the meat on from the previous night and I will help you to do the vegetables.’
I take a second
stool and place it opposite her. The child in me misses the times when we used
to sit by the fire and with the help and listen to stories derived from a radio
station that had a programme called ‘ilyashi lya pano isonde’ which translates
to something like stories of this world. Anyway all I remember is that those stories
were addictive but had me wide eyed when it was time for bed. Yet despite this I
still listened to them religiously. I place the bowl with vegetables in it on
the floor and another empty one on my lap and begin cutting.
‘Aunty my own
mother is going to be very angry with me when she finds out that I am pregnant.’
‘Passy you will
have to face her. What else are you going to do? You knew what you were doing
te?’
‘Yes but it was
just for fun-y’
‘OK so now it
is time to be a grown up and do face the music especially with your baby daddy.
I am just glad it did not turn out to be my Temwani’ I say shaking the knife so
that the little pointed tip is in her direction.
‘Aunty I need
to tell you something’
‘What is it
Passy’
‘Aunty I don’t know
if I should say anything but you are very good to me-e ah’ I look up from what I
am cutting and momentarily stare at her. A girl knows when that news that we
all dread is about to strike. It comes all disguised and what not and you try
not to hear it, in fact you do everything to wish it away but this heart of
ours a tenacity to confirm this particular fear. It is like a disease amongst
us women. A code that will start to prepare for the minute you hear these fatal
words.
‘Tell me Passy….’
She hesitates a
moment but not long enough. ‘Aunty ba uncle has been seen with a ka girl from
your skulu’ There she said it. She dropped the bomb on my little heart blowing
it into smithereens. I continue cutting the vegetables and don’t say anything.
‘We have seen
him a few times with this light skinned girl and they were even holding
amaboko-hands. Sometimes on our way home na ba beat-y, we see them near the
tuma shops talking by his car. It is that girl they call Gertrude’
‘Thank you for
telling Passy you did the right thing’ I was hoping this would be a sign to her
that she needs to stop talking now but she is on a roll now.
‘People have
been talking saying she has been telling them that it is because….’ She stops
talking and starts stirring the food instead of completing her sentence. I look
up and notice that she is stalling. Trying to hold back some information.
‘What do they
say Passy…’ she takes a deep sigh and explains that everyone says it is because
I have not given him a child and that he is planning on marrying this Gertrude
of a character. I should scream. I should pour this very sauce on his face but
goodness I do not want to cause a scene in front of Passy.
Shortly
afterwards, we hear Temwani’s car pull up and that’s when my blood truly begins
to boil……
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