The baby yells out demanding my attention but I cannot seem to be able to bring myself up to stand. It is like being in a bad dream with no one there to shake me awake. I fightmy eyes to stop them from shutting and will them open. Oh what a treacherous head. It bangs nails and hammers relentlessly on my scalp and refuses to giveme peace the more I try to get up. What the hell happened?
There are noises and someone bursts into the room with a big fat stick. I manage to openmy eyes to see the commotion. This woman is swinging the stick left right andcentre that my weary eyes fail to keep up. Her hair looks dishevelled like one at a Shala Mwana concert. She is screaming something about her friend. I closemy eyes to get some rest but feel someone kneel down beside me and call my name.
‘Claire….Claire?’I fear answering in case I am in dreamland and this is an evil spirit. Although the voice would perhaps be a bit more sinister if this were the case. The hand moves me again a bit more desperately. I try to oblige but just feel irritated.And then can you believe someone had the cheek to splash cold water on my face? Cold icy water! Well whose eyes would not open at such injustice? Even the dead would wake up really pissed off at such uncouth behaviour. I open my eyes a bit wider and notice that it is Diana by my side. Great I should have known.
She orders Jeffto pick me up off the floor and take me to the bed. He reluctantly agrees and picks me up. Once in the room Diana shouts at him and calls him all sorts of names under the sun. You know the ones where you go “chakuti chako chakuti nachakuti chako!” she then slammed the door in his face and locked us in. There was a bowl of water beside the bed and my friend instantly changed from the rantingraving lunatic she was two minutes ago to a soft cherub.
‘Hey babe…I am going to china you ok? It might hurt a bit but I will try to be gentle’ she takes a flannel and dips the cloth into the bowl of water beside the bed. Shewrings it with both hands and turns around to compress the side of my head. The cow underestimated how much it would hurt but I can only manage to flinch asopposed to going full on squealing. After like two seconds the cloth is welcomed by my head as a worthwhile friend. It does not stay like this forlong. Diana moves the cloth and repeats the ritual on another part of my facewhich feels quite spongy.
‘You need to leave this man before I start preparing your coffin!’ she says with a tone of disdain marked on her face. I do not understand why she hates Jeff so much. It is beginning to drive me up the wall. He did not hit me. I fell because I could not balance. Yes that is what happened.
‘We did not have a fight Diana. We were simply discussing something and I must have fallenand hit my head’
‘What were youdiscussing?’
‘It is none of your business because I know you are going to make a big deal out of this!’
‘If it were none of my damn business I would not be here. You women with battered wife syndrome really piss me off. Defending an animal like that!’
‘Oh Diana stop it’
‘No I think it is about time you heard a few home truths. I walked in hear kicking and screaming for them to let me in. Do you know where you were? You were laying onthe floor whilst his mother just skipped over you. Jeff did not bother to evenpick you up until I said so. Let me tell you something, since that day you toldme about the mother putting something in the water he has never been the same!’
Before giving birth to baby Daniel, Jeff’s sister Carol had come over. She is the only one of the four who I can say is nice. She came and warned me that the family believedthat I was just after the money and that they had gone for a visit to the Ng’anga.
‘Sisi I am just warning you because you know how your in laws love rituals. They will do anything so be careful that is all I am saying’ I had poured her a cup of tea andsettled down on the chair opposite her. The news was quite disturbing andfrankly I felt it was a bit farfetched because I did not believe in such garbage. I was six months pregnant with my first child. The horror was beginning to close in on mebut I had mentioned to Diana that this place was beginning to scare the hellout of me. My mother in law had refused to move out. She had gone to her homeonly twice or maybe three times since our honey moon. At that time Jeff was thelove of my life and still supporting me. His mother however insisted that shewould stay and teach me how to be a good wife.
After three months of her staying with us, the drama began again. Bwalya and company would visit and corner me whenever I was cooking and Jeff was not home.
‘Look at youClaire, is there anything in this house that we can do to finally make you becomea woman? We have tried to teach you the ways of our family- no one can say wehave not tried but you are stubborn. Hmm I wonder what my brother saw in you.’
‘And now she isbusy prancing around this house with a bastard for a child in her stomach’ her mother would add between a mouthful of groundnuts. I simply looked at them anddecided not to answer. For there would be no answer under the sun that I couldgive without provoking their anger but even my silence annoyed them. If anythingit was even more annoying for them that I stayed silence and chose not to entertain their nonsense. It made them feel that I was being insolent but what answer didthey want me to give them? I looked forward to Jeff coming home and begged himto get his mother out of the house so the baby and I could have some peace.
On the day that he was supposed to ask his mother to leave is the day when our life of happiness ended. Jeff had spoken to his mother and asked her to leave so that we couldenjoy our home. I waited in the kitchen and took his food to him when hesummoned me.
Five minutes later I heard Jeff scream in anger.
‘What kind of disgusting thing have you put in my food? It is so bitter!’ He took the plate and chucked it with all its contents and left the house.
His motherlooked at me and smiled and then went to her room. She knew that she was not going anywhere. It was then that the silence ensued. I was alone in a place I wasmeant to call home. I was lonely yet surrounded by people. I called my mother,but she was not much help when it came to this sort of thing.
A few weeks before giving birth, I started having crumps and the baby was said to be getting ready to make an entrance in this world. It was not something thatcould be stopped. The little one was eager to come but did not make it to see the light that it so desired. I woke up in the hospital crying endlessly beingtold that it did not make it. I never saw my little one. Instead of comfortingme when we got home, my mother in law stated that ‘this is what happens whenpeople try and cheat the hand of God.’ She said that because she was still convinced that the time I got married I was pregnant and that is why herprecious son insisted on us marrying early. To save us the embarrassment ofhaving a child outside wedlock. My mind drifts back to the present. My friend is still chatting away- well scolding me more than chatting.
‘Ever since this witch moved in, he has beaten you through two miscarriages. Is it only when you finally die that is when you will leave?’
‘Diana was thevow not for better for worse?’
‘Yes but he broke that vow and in my books the marriage is void. He is not bringing in any money it all goes to his family and you have to foot the bill for yourself and your baby. Look at the state you are in! Your clothes look so unfashionable! No man! This man is going to make you old before your time!’
‘I told you though that we were not fighting. I should just stop making him angry that’s all.Mummy told me that I must stop doing things that make him angry’ I know I soundpathetic but I have nothing else.
‘Claire the whole town is talking about it. How come you do not see it? Eish, you are swelling up fast’ she takes the cloth
and continues the compressing. She shakes her head and takes the small mirror that is beside the table and hands it to me.
‘That my friend is what he has done to you. I am going to take you to the hospital right away. We cannot listen to your mother all the time because she is from a world where no protection was offered for this.’
My face has swelled so much that you cannot even see my eyes. The only thing present is a forehead and cheeks…..
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