Bigger than Love epilogue 1 and 1/2 years later

Mutiz and I got married in an elaborate wedding at Sandy's Creations on 2 August. The one time I loved tradition was when he and his people came to see my father for my engagement. Mutale was in the room when I was summoned.

 

My aunty sat me down on the floor beside her and asked me to identify Mutale. I looked at Mutale lovingly and confirmed that he was indeed the man I wished to be married to. I was told there was a plate on the table that was covered. Inside it was money that was to be given to my father if I was happy with the mans proposal.

 

On my knees, I crawled to the table and picked up the plate without opening it. I took it on my knees to my father and placed it in his hands then clapped my hands three times. My father was beaming with pride you could see it in his eyes. For me that was a life changing moment. Mutale had been true to his word and had been nothing but perfect towards me when dating. he even acknowledges the day I lost Lubuto. One would truly think he was the biological father.

 

It is almost like a dream to think that God would have blessed me with such an awesome man despite my imperfections. We are now literally with child. His name is Nehemiah which we prefer to write as Niyemiah. I absolutely adore the name because of its beautiful meaning (comforted by Yahweh). Without his grace, I would not be with my precious new family. And yes, I finally tell Mutale 'I love you'.

 

The woman I am today

If it were not for your mercies oh Lord

 

I would not be the woman I am today

 

 

 

If it were not for your grace oh Father

 

I would not be the woman I am today

 

 

 

But Father it was traumatic

 

How could I ever be worthy again

 

From this I cannot pick myself up

 

Nor demand the respect of others

 

 

 

You showed me Mary Magdalen

 

and your grace was sufficient for her

 

You showed me Oprah Winfrey

 

and that trauma did not stop her

 

You used them to bless me

 

and make me the woman I am today

 

 

 

But father....what of the earthly father I never knew

 

Or the one that hit ma black and blue

 

or even the one that made his baby a mistress

 

no I cannot go on for this is unnatural

 

and no one would ever value me

 

 

 

Then came Joyce Meyer

 

she told us like it was

 

nothing hidden at all

 

a vessel to encourage all

 

and also came Maya Angelou

 

who knew why caged birds sung

 

 

 

I pulled her through you said

 

she cried for years but my grace is sufficient for her

 

I am the only father you need

 

to be the woman you need to be today

 

 

 

So when you cry at night

 

with 5 kids at your bossom

 

when you feel your heart cant mend

 

and your teary flood forever flow

 

when you feel like giving up

 

and forgetting your virtue

 

 

 

Remember my love for you

 

that no man can match

 

that no disease can break

 

that no loneliness can block

 

that no earthly judgement can sentence

 

remember that I value you

 

I will deliver you

 

I will make you the woman you were destined to be