I pee on the stick and wait.
Nothing.
Maybe I should wait a second
longer. There it is. In clear lines. The most reliable kit on the market. It
claims I have a little thing inside me which will soon become a huge thing. Oh
crap! What have I done? I look around me at the four walls of the small blue
bathroom of my father’s house absolutely paralysed.
My fairy tale seriously just
turned into a nightmare. Not because I don't want a baby. Do I? And if I don’t,
don’t want it that is, does that make me a bad person? Don't get it twisted, I
have always wanted a baby for like the longest time possible but I wanted it
with a husband a house and the whole shebang. Not like this!! I had always
dreamt that when the time came I would be at home waiting for my husband to
come home and I would break the news to him. Ideally he would be excited and
fling me into his arms in our cosy little apartment in Oxford and yea you know
how the rest of it goes.
I had never ever thought I
would be sitting here dreading this moment worse of all in the toilet.
"Alo!!! Open the door you
been in there too long Man !! I need to go to class" my brother Jay
shouts.
"OK! just a second."
I do my best to pull myself together and open the toilet door.
" Jesus Jasmine! You look
like you just seen a ghost what’s the
matter?"
I dash to my room and lock the
door behind me. I have no clue what to do and the strength is gone from knees.
I decide to sit down in front of the big mahogany dresser that my father
installed in my room when i returned. There is a big double bed in the room and
a mirror to match. My dresser has the Britney Spears fantasy perfume on it and
the whole room is filled with its glorious scent. I bet Jay had knicked some of
it as usual. It has clearly been recently sprayed. My make up kit has a Mac
foundation peeping out of it. Probably from this morning when I dashed out to
buy the kit. I pick it up and place it back in the pouch and wipe the marks off
the marble floor.
I should call someone. I need
to talk to someone before I lose it. The perfect person would be my best friend
ChiChi but my girl works like tomorrow is not promised a day. I scroll down to Mum...no she should be the
last person to find out even though we are so close she will blow her fuse on
this I think and lecture me about how God is going to be very unhappy with me.
My mother is very pious she puts Mary mother of God to shame.
Cursor lands on Ryan...Love of
my life...Father of my child after only three months of dating....
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