Sweetest Taboo 2 pt3

 ' I pace around the sitting room and wonder what the hell is taking Brandon so long. He of all people should know exactly what this is doing to me. He knows what evil I received at the hands of my uncle and I will be darned if the same was to happen to my baby. The torture, the screaming, the nightmares, gosh just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

Towela walks in shortly and has a gloomy look on her face.

'Towela what is the matter?'

'Well you are not going to like this but Brandon has just taken that fool and his mother to the hospital.'

'What do you mean he has taken them to the hospital?'

'Yes he has taken them to the hospital to be attended to!'

'And has he forgotten the child who is still here and needs medical attention too? Oh Towela, I am trying not to think of the worst. What if my baby is sick now? Maybe he does not care too much about her because she is not biologically his. How else can you explain this betrayal?'

'He says he is trying to keep things downlow...' she says with sullen look on her face. If i did not know her better I would not think anything of it but that look says the shit she has to tell me, I am not going to want to hear it.

Brandon has decided that it is best to gather the people around from our family and discuss the issue that has befallen us. Who has time for that? Worse still his idea of sorting things out is that this creature and his mother continue to reside with us pending a decision from the adults of the family. Unbelievable. I knew I should have taken him out there and then but damn stupid love is always a kryptonite.

'Mwaka, I think you need to try and sort it out through the proper channels. Girl I know you are hurting but you have to do it right. If it does not go your way, I will be the first to back you up believe me'

'I don't know what to believe or who to believe any more. Mark my words if Shey is sick, or if that boy does not get what he deserves, then I will take the law into my own hands. This shit aint over. But it is cool. If they want him to stay, let him stay. It will make my job a whole lot easier'.

'I will take Shey with me. She can live with me for while. That way she does not need to see him everyday.'

'Girl i should not have hesitated. I should have spattered his brains all over and fed them to his mother. Just like I did with uncles. Brandon was my hero. Do you remember how he stood by me when I got pregnant with Uncles  child? He was the only one who never judged me, I swear to God if they cover up this mess like my parents did with Uncle, I will kill everyone involved'.

'Like I said, I will support you. You know this fight is not going to be easy but if you take this life without 'reason' no one will exonerate you. Let this plot thicken. You would want him to suffer. Not to get off lightly by a quick blow to the head. No no  no my friend, you will want to take him through our 5 stage phase and make sure that everything he gets will be worth it. That my friend is revenge served cold....ice cold'

I had forgotten how devious she really was. Silly I, Towela was not one to be under estimated. I knew for a fact I could trust her with my child. She was my diary. When we burried Uncle, Towela had saved a few pieces of his body for all those who had been unkind. She had cooked it, put tomatoe in and told Brandon and I to refrain from eating the dish. When she told us what was in there, we were absolutely gobsmacked. Of course people had asked questions about who had shot him in cold blood. We simply lied and said it was armed robbers. The police investigation was nowhere near thorough. Their response was that government did not have the necessary funding to go and hunt down perpetrators.

'Nga mwaba sanga, you should bring them to us' the fat policeman had responded to my mother. I found it so ridiculous that citizens should become the police and take up the job of apprehending criminals, for me it was a breath of fresh air and a gift from God. My mother had told us that we had been doing a fine job and that we should not air our dirty laundry. 'A man’s wrong doing does not break a home' she would say thinking she was being smart. In fact, her home was so broken it was beyond repair. Her rationale was that my other cousins had been through similar situations and mine was not unique. I ought to get used to it. My sister of course seemed to have obliged but she is not I.

I did not know at the time whether she was crying because she lost a brother or simply crying because she had lost her source of income. Either way I did not care. Brandon had hidden his father’s gun in a secret stash and promised to come back for me. I don't know up to this day whether it is because his father found out about our secret, I don't know. I was forced to carry a baby growing inside of me that I did not love, not because it was its fault, no but because it made me hate myself. I should be loving a child not hating it. The feeling of repulsion is not one that is genetically stated to accompany an expecting mother.

As soon as I was ready to give birth, I decided to give him up for adoption and hope he gets a good life. I had kept pictures of him as at birth but never looked at them again. My sister had been at the hospital with me with my faithful friend Towela.

'Do you remember my friend how I vowed to punish those people who hurt you?' she says wiping the tears from eyes. Did I ever let you down? No. Every woman needs an allie. A friend who sticks closer than a brother because no matter how ubukaka and strong we are, we eventually need a helping hand.' She flashes one of her devious smiles. The type that she often smiled around my family only to find that she had brushed the toilet with their tooth brushes or given them water to bath from the old neighbours well where a cat had died. The water would skankify the whole house but she would swear that it was not the water but the sewer outside. Then she would turn and look at me and flash me one of those smiles that let me know what was up.

Those days we were young. I shudder to think what she would do as an adult.

'So what do you suppose we must do this time?'

'Watch and learn. You asked me what I would do to someone who did this to my child? You need to play dumb. No matter how much the next few days hurt, you gotta play dumb like a fox. Only then will he suffer. If you have ever pissed off a white woman, you will know that she takes her time and really makes you pay'

The door opens and it Brandon.

'Hi, I have just spoken to the elders. They will be here first thing tomorrow morning since we are dealing with a son without a father'

His calmness pisses me but I mostly worry because my baby could be HIV positive and I do not think I will have the strength to handle that. I acknowledge Towela to let the games begin.