‘What? No no no he cannot do that! That is that bullshit. How will I ever be able to work with around? I will have to change departments.’ By now I am fretting so much I can barely talk. Hope watches me become a childagain and comes and sits close to me.
‘Girl all jokes aside. Please tell me what the hell happened with you and Dante! You are shaking like a leaf! I hope it is not what I think it is….’ I raise my head to look at her and notice from the look on her facethat she may think it is history repeating itself and quickly shake my head no. I just feel too embarrassed to tell her that I could never have sex with Dante and he left with someone else.
Tears fall down my cheeks and I exit from the table to go and comfort myself in the bathroom. The ritual begins again with all the damn scrubbing. Goodness lord I could win a medal from how much I still wash. My obsessive compulsive disorder gets triggered mostly after a bad night’s sleep or when I am filled with anxiety. I need to get on the phone to my mother and tell her what is happening because I don’t think I will be able to handle it bymyself.
An hour later, Tendai and Mumba come by the house and insist we go out to Debonnairs for Pizza. It does not take a lot of convincing for us to get out of the now cramped flat. I would rather us all get crazy out there than in our flat. Tendai recounts the events of the previous night and how she and her ex decided to pay the past a visit. All the girls in the car laugh and ask if the past was worth revisiting. I couldn’t care less and decide to switch off. It is as though the girls only have one thing on their mind nowadays.Tendai starts firing me questions instead of concentrating on finding a spot at Manda Hill. It does not matter what time or what day of the week it is, this place is always always swamped with cars! God knows where people even get the money from when the news always reports that there are no jobs around and thatpeople are suffering. If anything this must be to give the tourist theimpression that in fact in Zambia we are doing just fine and hope to God theydo not produce a documentary of the children with flies stuck on their faces asan accurate representation of what our country is about.
‘Eh Eh Eh Madam Dancehall! Don’t act like you don’t hear what I am saying eh’ she looks in the rear view mirror and smiles at me cheekily losing her chance at yet another parking spot.
‘Ah Tendai you are too nosey! Are we hear to spend all dayin the parking lot?’ Hope sniggers ‘Besides we all got a lot more to do than just eat pizza! Michael is on the lose somewhere and I intend to find him.’
‘Michael Schmichael! Hope please we all know that boy is for rent and before you know it, he will be headed back to his woman. Those two make up and break up so please don’t get your hopes too high!’ Mumba points out. ‘Lucky for Shey and I we are single and loving it!’
‘Yes and one step away from lesbian!’ we all laugh at the bold statement. Finally after roaming around the car park, hooting, cussing and swearing in all manner of languages, we get ta parking spot. Tendai asks the other girls to walk ahead of us so that she can have a word with me. I wonder what about because she and I never have a heart to heart.
‘ Now Shey, feel free to tell me that it is none of mybusiness….’
‘it is none of your business’ I retort
‘That was a rhetorical question woman and you know I will still make it my business. Well you know the B1 song right? I know you know it.Well perfecto kulibe mama and I really don’t know what you are waiting for. Aside the dreadlocks and the motor bike, which is a look you don’t usually go for,Dante is super-hot and you know it. I saw you two last night and I also know that when you left, some hungry looking chick was all over him! He didn’t seem interested though and Hope kept telling her to back off.’
‘So why are you telling me all this? I couldn’t care less ifhe has moved on or whatever. Maybe she will be able to give him what I can’t’
‘Except you and me both know that you care for him. Your reaction last night after seeing said it all! People only react with so much anger forthe things that matter and he my friend matters’
‘Did he send you here to do his dirty work for him? I don’t have time for a wasteman. Dante had his chance and he blew it. He does not get to disappear and reappear at a whim. I am not his doormat!’ I feel my face flushing a bright red. Tendai has no idea what happened so how dare she stands here to defend Dante. If Dante has something to say to me, he can say it to my face.Let him work a bit harder.
‘Shey, it is nothing to be ashamed of, you know being avirgin and what not’
‘What are you on about now Tendai?’ I dread the answer that I somehow know I am going to hear. She seems to know a lot more than she isletting on.
‘Dante told me that most nights you two tried to have sex,it was impossible for him to do the business! Like literally impossible!’ I am horrified! Oh so now he is busy spreading my business around? Why do I even bother with men eh? ‘He was not gossiping but the guy needed to talk to someone and we both know a drunken Hope is not the best person to chat secrets to. He reckons it is the reason you dumped him? It doesn’t make any sense!’
‘Well then, before you continue campaigning for him, ask him about Lombe from UNZA’.Tendai looks confused and mutters the name over and over. She stops for a moment and thinks. I continue to walk ahead till she trots after me in her high heels. She is laughing uncontrollably. Apparently I said something funny. Does she think a man cheating is funny because if she does, it is about to go down right now and I am not the one wearing weave today. We reach the other girls and I keep pestering her to tell me what the heck is sofunny.
‘Whooo, woman you made me run like Usain Bolt!’ Trust her to exaggerate. ‘Hope, guess who this girl is tripping about! But before I tell you, you better promise not to tell her the answer about her long years of unnecessary suffering. Promise!’ Hope and Mumba both promise not to reveal the so called answered whilst I remain there looking baffled. We find a table quickly after ordering and madam Tendai takes over again. ‘She does not want to see Dante’s fine hazel nut eyes self because of…’she breaks off into fits of giggles again and in between them mutters ‘….because of Lombe’ All the girls burst out laughing so hard I swear one of them might pee. This is so awkward,have you ever been at a table where you the only one not laughing but the whole room is staring? The odd one out! Yes Weldone girls. Bloody well done.
Hope finally gets her composure, wipes some tuma tears offher face then says ‘girl listen, you had better get your hands back on Dante yeah I hear them church girls are fast when it comes to landing them a good hunkof meat like him’ they laugh again. So what if they take him? I really don’t care until he explains this somehow hilarious fiasco to me….I do not want to see him. Tendai thinks she knows me so well. If she did, she would know that men for me, are not an easy topic. I left myself be vulnerable with Dante. So vulnerable that I really believed I was ready with him just like aunty Towela had stated. I could be a secondary virgin until I chose to be otherwise. As fatehas it, I seem to be a bloody permanent one don’t I? And their precious Dantecould not wait to bolt my door, for the room right ahead of mine. Dirty stinking obnoxious scoundrel!
[Phone rings- private number] I choose to ignore it. Why do people even bother to call you on a private number? Just don’t blow up my phone if you don’t want me to see your name ignoramus. The girls keep their beady eye on me when the phone rings again and I cut it. ‘He gon be snatched up fast thismekaling you are doing for him. Zed girls don’t waste time my friend’ Mumbalaughs.
[Text- It is Dante. Please let me see you so we can talk] I look up trying to figure out which of them gave him my number. Well since we are apparently working together, he can see me then. It will be easier to avoid him there but I swear this is becoming borderline stalkerish.
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